Oral: harsh limit my boyfri for three months to lose ten kilograms of meat

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Reading Tips:limit my boyfri for three months lost more than a dozen pounds, he said he would like to see my weight loss success look like wedding dress. really, I really do not know if this is the main reason we broke up last ... ... see Tao Sixuan teacher\'s answer.

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Expert Profile:Taosi Xuan (microblogging), Beijing Normal development and educational psychology graduate students, under the tutelage of psychologist Professor Chen Xiangyi. Family Therapist, State Counselor, emotional relationship columnist, Sex and Ger Research Fellow, Chinese single women network CEO.

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Tao Sixuan teacher

User talk:

hello! very presumptuous to write to you, if it is is really a last resort, I will not write to disturb you.

he and I started dating from early 2007, when he also had a college girlfri broke up yet, but he knew they would not have results, because not a city, that he did not marry her ability to that city, I also confirm his thoughts and his contacts before, during very romantic, he was very nice to me.

exchanges four months, I found that he did not forget ex-girlfri, they simply did not break off, he then told me that we are not fit, I chose to quit, quit that does not belong to my love of this being.

I am sad for a while, because we There are many mutual fris, often with a painful heart to meet him, although only a fri, but I know my heart has always been in love with him.

not long before he began to concern me, I\'m so happy, I feel my love back.

he gave me the feeling is always a little more than fris, less than lovers. also includes intimate contact, that period, I was pregnant with his child, know that afterwards, he was more afraid than I, he itself is two years younger than me, but also I came to comfort him, all right, now did not prepare well destroyed, he said he was thinking, although I would like for him to give birth to children, can still give the.

child destroyed, we still maintain ambiguous "fri" relationship, during which, the family continued to press, to meet the inevitable blind date, I also feel that they should start looking for the real part of my happiness, so to say, when the I own too irresponsible, on the family would not mention, because I love his heart, if only more with him, I would like, and would rather pay the youth price.

09 in the second half of the time, He was sick, I went to the hospital to take care of him, his mother knew of my existence then, are the passive introductions, I became the eyes of his mother\'s girlfri.

but things did not go well, the more he close to me, the more I found the lack of, for example, he found me and a male fri at midnight chats, I totally did not care, just open the computer to see how he does not know he would be jealous, chat content is not ambiguous, but I could not sleep last night, just hit that person also did not sleep, say a few words, but then again ... ...

on he asked me there and swam with other boys, I know that he was narrow-minded, say no, but I have a swim and boys swimming, and later, after he heard from someone there made a great fire.

fire once he is in the New Year\'s Day Valentine\'s Day, there\'s the opposite sex in the evening ninety o\'clock I called to ask, how ever, should not he get a look at Rose comfort me, because in his eyes, I\'m single.

Although he made a great fire, but did not and I cut off contacts, his mother in the understanding of our business, have been doing work with each other, and I told my secret love of family and fris, including the opposite sex, tell them not to resort to my phone, and I have a boyfri, I can do to change his , anything.

but I can not change my temper, he always debated, refused to see my parents, to insult me ​​with abusive personality, that I and other men how to how, he said these words , I am particularly angry, take with you together, he always remembered the little things that I have the key for me and the other boys did not really how ah! yes I was dead, he said I also recognized.

sometimes dinner with him, had also Enenaiai, and after dinner he suddenly thought of me and others to swim to do, it will suddenly told me that we break up, I can not stand then had two or three days, he good, and they come to me.

there thing he asked me to lose weight, he limited me three months to lose ten kilograms, he said he would like to see me lose weight successful wedding dress look. really, I really do not know if this is the main reason for our last break, I have fallen, but the only lose several pounds, did not meet his requirements. it was in after the deadline, he I said, promised not to do something, then you do not tell him to mention something else.

her mother is very worried about the future, how many can afford his son\'s mind, he greatly influenced by his father and I and he is single family, he is more pathetic, his father did not leave anything left to them, and later met the two women had two children, his idea is to find love, also looking for the right, he can bear temper of the people, get married do not want to divorce, and that impact on children too much and he himself suffered.

finished, dear pottery teacher, had meant by her mother to help him to do psychological counseling , did not think that now my problem is more serious, that I caused all, I am more afraid of his narrow-minded, the more something will happen.

now broke up, I think, would not start a new life, All my problems are serious ... ... Dear pottery teacher, you would like to help us? Thank you! look forward to your reply! If you think I or he needs more professional treatment, please also mention, I am willing to and is responsible for costs involved, thank you!

expert replies:

Thank you for your confidence in me.

roughly from your letter you read the story, in the last issue you raised is very important, the feelings in the walk in these years, in the was like his mother said, her son, there is a problem, in need of psychological counseling? Or like you said, just because you too did not pay attention to all aspects of doing the things he does not like, resulting in a break up you mentioned in your letter all the problems are very serious, and that these issues are what?

mature feelings is in two between two mature individuals from the letter you have provided information see the two of you do not have enough maturity to deal with feelings of psychological problems, such as when you discovered you were pregnant, not the boy to comfort the girl, like resolve the problem, but is you go to comfort him; and he will not mind you and normal heterosexual contact, mind your body, etc. I want to know is that when these things happen when your heart is what kind of feelings?

you are feeling inside, it seems to please each other and you will be to dispel the suspicion of deliberate concealment and other fris of the opposite sex a swim; when the other requires you to lose weight, you will be required to do. after you and tell you of the opposite sex do not find you, your pleasing degree of pricey. you know weight loss is from in your own heart, a natural process, or hate themselves and want to change or is it because they do not like to do so ? Do you think you give up then?

love, trust and accept each other is the basic premise, and in your love, and does not reflect the above mentioned all confirm this and if they in love, do not understand themselves and each other, can not accept each other or each other\'s family, will make love to crack, the last love of the roses will wither.

Now, let us look at your question, in the who need advice, I would like to You already have the answer.

the two of you are more or less affected by the original family, it is recommed that you either need to be divided or combined personal growth of the sort of work.

I particularly like the word is "life is not get is to learn, "although love may not ultimately be his wife, but in this love, you will see their mode of getting along with others, you will see more true to yourself, you will understand the failure The real reason, to understand these, you can try to grow up themselves, the feelings of the next paragraph, let itself as a mature individual to win a healthy love.

Taosi Xuan (blog)

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